"In the darkest times hope is something that you give yourself" ~ Uncle Iroh

My friends and I often will say things of how we wish we had an Uncle Iroh, or how much better the world would be if we all had him, or how we need to watch Avatar, the Last Airbender on bad days because Uncle Iroh makes us feel better. I did that today. The best cure for a very bad weekend would have been to have tea with Uncle Iroh, but that was the next best thing.

The doctor released me from my confinement. It took three months for nothing to show up and everyone to decide the whole illness was a pile of stress. Sometimes news like that isn't the kind you want to hear and doesn't really make one feel like the most competent of people.

It had seemed that was enough bad news to last for the coming week, but then I found out in a rather horrible way that the priest who baptized me Catholic is being sent to another parish. It was one of those moments which felt as if someone had stabbed me in the gut with a knife and then twisted the blade around a few times for good measure. Today I stayed home, since I have only just been released to return to work but now have no job to return to so am fixing that problem, and watched Avatar.

Today was not normally a day I would stay inside. The heat wave broke. It didn't break by much, but now I can go out without the feeling of stepping into an oven. (I was not comparing it to an oven but rather to the Tintin book with the falling star. I am just unsure how many have read that and would understand to which I am referring). Still, the weather going from 94 to 84 is delightful. It also awakened in me a longing which will sometimes arise.

I have a wish to have a cottage on the edge of a moor. The cottage itself does not have to be large, so long as the library is. I would like the yard and garden to be large as I wish to have many plants and flowers and animals. I would like a brook nearby and bird feeders all through my yard so the birds will feel welcome, also a bee hive as I wish to keep some bees. My cottage inside will be filled with dried flowers and herbs, books, notebooks, ink, typewriters, swords, maps and globes, things I have brought back from my digs, feathers, rocks, moss, anything I collect on my walks, and even more books.

I do not wish to be away from all people, but would like nearby friends who would join me on nature walks. It would be nice to have a friend who would trudge through the marsh with me, picking flowers, studying botany, chasing frogs, drawing butterflies. I want to sit out on my porch and watch the sunsets, in the mornings sit with my tea and watch the sunrise. Some nights wake at two and go out into the marsh to watch the meteor showers. I want to chase fireflies and put them in a large jar and after I've catch as many as I can release them as if I am releasing a thousand paper lanterns.

It seems an in-depth dream to arise just at a ten degree temperature drop, but I enjoy it.