"I am thanking all those who helped and forgiving all those who didn't" ~ Spanky Roberts.

I did a re-haul - I bet you didn't even notice. (That was sarcasm. It came to my attention that I do not use sarcasm until I am comfortable with someone, and then I use it with full knowledge I am not serious, but they do not know that and it concerns them. I have concerning sarcasm.)

I had planned this morning to put in some much needed work on my photography website - which I did - and my craft website - which I did not. The craft website is making me hurt. I do not like the layout one bit and may do as I did with this and just start over. It was because of my sadness over that site that I set to work on this one. I had wanted to fix it for a while, but could not figure out how. In the end I had to take down the old one and save it and set up a new one, so that now I can organize posts on history, archaeology, my writing, and book reviews as well as my everyday life.

My least favorite part of this new direction my life has taken is the website work, and I have a terrible habit of putting it off as long as possible. However, I found out the library had opened back up so for my computer break I rode my motorcycle down and grabbed way too many books. (I say way too many because I had intended to only get two, one on the geology of Nevada and another on the history of weapons. I knew I would not stick to this "resolve" so did not even attempt it.) I wandered the Civil War selection and discovered a book called War of the Aeronauts. I have never heard of this before in the American Civil War and now I am terribly excited! Which balances out my sorrow of not finding the book on Nevada geology. I do not understand. Wouldn't one think there would be several of that sort of book in a Nevada library? I have many questions about my possible mock projectile point and no source information.

But that has not been all my day has consisted of. I am not one to avoid the news at all costs, but I also do not watch it everyday or read it or stalk it on Facebook every chance I get. I am not much of a Facebook person. I am that girl the joke was written about, I go on to see which of my friends is now dating, married, or having a child. I will poke about and leave. Quite often I am too busy tinkering or gardening for Facebook name calling and horrible rudeness. But the other day I went on for my usual poke and saw something that made me sick to my stomach. Statues are being torn down. Statues of men who fought in the Civil War; monuments are being destroyed, so much history taken away.

It is a hard thing, to be here, to be so sad about it, to only be able to cry and be angry, but not be able to do anything. To know if I speak I would be another voice falling on deaf, angry, frenzied ears. Not that I keep quiet.

This is what I am studying for. I look back on any cultures' history and feel this sorrow. How often this has happened. It has never done any good. Because to tear down a monument, to destroy a building, a flag, it won't accomplish whatever they are trying to accomplish. It hasn't before. But that doesn't mean it is not sad. They do not understand. In some ways it is as if I am back in the day cares, watching little kids throw toys because they didn't like the snack that day. It will not change anything in the end.

They do not understand. The generals they hate for reasons they may not really understand, those men led us - they fought and lead and won and lost and lived and died and we wouldn't be the country we are without them.

But if they think they were the ones who made this country then they are mistaken. It was the people who aren't in the history books, who lived their daily lives. Who faced injustice and stood up when they had to and sat down when they had to. Who never gave up even when no news reporter was there to make sure the eyes of the world was on them.

This isn't a riot for change, this is a temper tantrum. Because if it was about change, they would follow the examples of those who really changed the world. The warriors who never got a statue but would be okay with that, because they were never out for fame, just for others to see them as human too.